I am scared to death that I will have to go back to school on Monday. My doctors homebound note expires on Monday.. She let me have options to when I might not feel better. I could spend the rest of the year(two months) at home. I love that. My parents are harassing me and screaming “you have to go back”. They don’t realize.. Staying in my bed till noon and watching tv help me.. It’s either I stay home for the next two months or I place myself into a hospital. I am going crazy and I can’t help it. It’s been two weeks on Paxil and I don’t feel any different. I’ve had the severe symptoms that are said to happen when you forget to take them. I feel like I’m gaining weight. I hate that feeling. I get head spins. I can’t stand at my register for a long time or I feel like a ghost. I feel nauseous all the time. I cannot go back to school when nothing has changed. I’m not recovering, I’m just surviving for a while. I feel like these disorders will end up killing me and I don’t mind. That’s terrifying.


"I thought it was me, but…"